A month already.....

I cant believe aready a month has gone by.  On saturday the 28(which was the 1 month mark)  I had lost 32 pounds (46total since pre-op diet)
My loss today is at 34(48).  I have gone down a pants size and almost two shirts sizes!!!
It is unreal!
I was a little upset...another person in my community had the surgery almost two years ago and lost alot of weight.  This is a small community and everyone knows they had the surgery and they didnt deny it at first, but now that person denies it and says it was diet and exercise.  While that was part of it, dont look down on a surgery you used to better yourself. 
Not me, I am very grateful I was given the opportunity to use this tool to help me get myself  healthy once and for all.  I will never deny the use of gastric bypass surgery and will continue to blog abot it.  You never know who it might help one day!
Ok enough venting!! 
Posting some one month pics!!

30 pounds down!!!

I am in shock...two and a half weeks and I have hit the 30 pound down mark!!  Crazyness.  I'm not taking this transistion to mushy foods to well though.  Everything is so heavy feeling after I eat.  I have tried hot foods, cold foods, nothing really sits right.  i guess I just have to get used to it.  i want to just go back to soup, but I know I need to tart geting  more nutrients and PROTEIN in.  And the two 8oz protien shakes a day is not happening..I have to go get a different flavor, because anything chocolate flavered is awful.  i cant get even a sip down.  i tried to get carnation instant breakfasts in chocolate..nope.  Who would ever think I would ever say I cant handle the taste of chocolate!!!!  Not even the chocolate Glucerna which I could drink in the beginning.  So going to see is strawberry is the way to go.  I do enjoy tuna salad, but it gets me about 5 minutes after eating it...but I will get used to it!
It is so embarrassing cuz all I do now is burp!!  I try to hide it, and do it as discretely as possible..but ugh I hate it.  Im not like some of the others who just belch in your face then go on with their day saying oh its the surgery!  It really bothers me...so now its like burp sorry burp sorry...UGGHHH..hehehe
Oh well til next time!

A+ on my first check up!!

Well, today was a good day!!  21 pounds down, and a very happy doctor.  He said I looked great, and had a healthy glow about me and everything was going as scheduled.  Except for that on an average people who started out at my weight usually take around four weeks to lose what I lost in two.  So he is making me drink a protien shake between meals.  an 8 oz shake twice a day....how in the hell am i supposed to do that when i can barely get down and once at a time???  I think my tell tale face told on me, because he just laughed at my reaction...he said to sip on it all between my meals and I should get it down.  I am taking his word for it but i dont see it happening!  He doesnt want me to lose muscle.  I get to eat soft foods now, and already tried my hand at egg.  Went down pretty good. going to try a small piece of fish tonight and see how that goes.
Crazy, it is like i am a baby starting over!  But it is a step I will definitely take!  Went with my mom to Kohl's after the appointment, and I "future shopped" while she did...refusing to go to the womens section!!  I dont ever want to go in that section again.  I told mom I am not wasting money on new clothes as I lose...great friends have already offered me clothes, and of course over the years I have saved clothes..you know the ones.."i will get back into those"  clothes.  And now I will!!  it felt so good to know that eventually I will get into those clothes I liked today!!  i dont care if it is a 2 dollar dress or a 100 dress, just the satisfation of being in a regular size...ohh I cant wait!!!  The things some people take for granted...I am looking forward to!!  Off to cook some dinner for my family!!  till next time!!

Checking in...

21 pounds down!!  How unreal...I am more shocked at how much better I feel than the actual number!  I can breathe better, and I really makes me wonder how I will feel another twenty thirty pounds down the road.  I am having to sleep on my back because of pressure on surgery site, and I am a stomach sleeper....so you can believe I should be snoring like a bear.  Not one night have I snored.  Louie was shocked. Sometimes we dont even realize the strain we are putting on our bodies, till it comes off and we feel it.  I walked last night for the first time..,.just a little...about half a mile...and felt great.  No pains anywhere after, so I know I can keep going, and increase it more and more.  I head to Victoria tomorrow for a check up, and am hoping he gives me a thumbs up, because I have been doing eveythng I am supposed to.
Thusrday I begin the soft foods phase.  I am interested to see what my new stomach will be able to tolerate, so will be very carefully adding a few things to my meal.

Everyday has been great for me...from stepping on the scale and seeing half a pound to two pounds come off...to feeling so much better and active already!!!  This is the best decision I could have ever made!!!!

One week in...

Yep I have survived my first week.  I feel really good, and only am in any real pain when I first wake up and when it is getting closer to bed time!!  Other than that I am shocked how good I feel.  I was preparing for all this pain and not being able to move and all that good stuff.  I do move too fast everynow and then, and a pain shoots through to remind me to watch it.  But it is only fleeting.  I am down 17 pounds...can you believe that..17 pounds.  It took me two months to lose 13 before surgery and now only 7 days to lose 17..WOW.
I have not been hungry at all..today I went and got the family chinese because the hubby got in late and thats what he wanted.  I went in to my beloved chinese restraunt where before I could eat my brother under the table if I tried...and I was not even tempted..except for a fleeting second that the shrimp stuffed turkey thingy that I love so much caught my eye..but it was over in a second. 
I am moving like I am supposed to and trying to get all the liquid down I am supposed to..kinda hard cuz one big drink I used to take...fills me up in a second..though it was a dozen little sips now.  Thank goodness for sugar free popcicles...they are my best friend!!  I can make one last over an hour though!!  It is so different when you are used to being the one who goes back for seconds or thirds, and gets pure satisfaction out of stuffing yourself to the point of sickness.  Kinda sad that it took a major surgery to show me just how bad I was, but that is the past and it is behind me now.  I am learning to savor those little sips and bites.  I just keep thinking..I am going to get to run with my kids..I am going to get to get on the rides with my kids...I am going to....all the things I cant wait to enjoy doing with them.  I am so excited for that.  I have alot of making up to them to do!!!
I have already heard some of the negativity before I had this surgery and have prepared myself for it, but everyone so far has been so extremely supportive and caring of my welfare.  I know that may change for some down the line, but I am going to enjoy it now.  It is heartwarming to read the comments left for me..my favorite being I am beautiful skinny or big.  That means so much to me, and now I have a tool to help bring that out!!  To have my daughter text me several times to check on me when she is with her friends and I should be the last person on her mind brings trears to my eyes.  I have taught them right so far and I am so pleased in who she and the others are becoming. Hopefully I have taken a step that will let me enjoy my babies for many more years to come, because honestly everyday that went by that I stuffed my face, snuck in the kitchen and stuffed my mouth full with whatever was in the refrigerator...was stealing those years away.  Not now dammit...I am fighting my way to being healthy!!!  And I am going to enjoy and relish in every minute of it!!  We only live once, and I am trying to do it right!  Til next time!!

so the journey has begun!

Well, it has been 5 days since my surgery.  I am feeling great and has lost 12 pounds.  I got right up after the surgery and got to walking..of course my IV squeeked so everyone knew when I was coming.  I was very nervous, but everyone there was so sweet, and I even came to from anestesia with out saying something to embarrass myself hahaha.  Had to stay a few extra days but that was ok, got some needed rest.!!  Every nurse there was so sweet, and I even ran into an old school best buddy I had.  That was an added suprise. 
I am doing this right.  I am taking my pills, getting the liquids I am supposed to, and trying to move around as much as i can.  I was blessed with the chnace to have this surgery (thank you mom and dad) and was blessed to come through it safely, you can believe I will not take it for granted.  I am ready and set to do everything I need to do to make this work.  For it is not the easy way like everyone says, there are so many things I have to do now..on top of diet and excersise..and I will do it!!
I will be posting my weight and progress, but I am still a bit self conscience about it..but I will eventually put it!! 

this is me right before leaving the hospital, was actually up 3 pounds because of swelling....

The count down continues..

I cant believe I am only 9 days away from my surgery!!!  I am so ready for this next chapter of my life to begin!  Someone told me the other day, I cant believe you post these personal things about the surgery, when  everyone else is hiding theirs or just dont like to talk about it.  I think it is a great tool for anyone trying to lose weight, no matter which method, to jot things down.  It helps to get things your feeling out and on paper(ha who uses paper anymore).  i also think if anything I put helps even one person then I feel good.  i say that because the you tube communtiy has really helped me prepare for this surgery.  Women and men who have been honest through all the struggles and good things that have happened to them really helps someone who is just getting ready to join the "losers bench" I also cherish all the advice and encouragement I have gotten from my fellow friends who have also had the surgery.  It is the same for any method of losing weight.  I have a gorgeous friend who lost over a hundred pounds.  She did it with no surgery or medication of any kind.  I applaud her will power.   But i have also learned I will have to be there hitting the pavement excersisng just like she is.  This surgery is just a tool, I still have to eat right, excersise and take care of my body.  I think ANYONE and ANYWAY they are trying to lose weight are wonderful.  It doesnt matter the direction you take to accomplish it, as long as you are trying to make yourself the healthiest you can be..for yourself or your family.  I am totally stoked for the countdown to smaller clothes sizs and shopping in regular stores...I am not going to lie!!  But the main reason I am doing this is to be healthy for my kids.  I am tired of telling them  "later"...."after a While"......because i just dont have the energy to get off my big booty to play or do things with them.  they are growing up in a flash and I dont want to miss any more than I already have.  Everyone has a breaking point and mine was whne I couldnt even get down on my knees to play with my youngest daughter.  Literally couldnt get down without help, and definitely couldnt get up without help.  I am only 32, there is no excuse for that.  I am not making any.  i did this to myself.  I now have to take the steps to better myself. 
Tomorrow I go and register at the hospital and do all my pre-op stuff...so it is really happening. Weird after all the time trying to just get an appointment  I am of course scared, but I am also so exited! 
Oh and I am now on the liquid diet...have to say it has been quite UNenjoyable so far!!!  hehehe
But i am doing exactly what i am told!!! til nesxt time!!  MJ

Time passes to quickly...

Funny when I was young time went by so slowely...now that I am older, time is passing before me so quickly.  I have been so busy this past month...Stock show time with the kids...I had to reschedule my DR appointment because of it.  But I went in today, and guess what?????  I got a scheduled surgery date!!!!  FINALLY!
I am so ready to start this journey...April 28th!!!
I am so excited to finally get the ball rolling towards being a healthier me..for myself and for my kids!!
I was actually supeised at how positive my doctor was today.  I lost another 5 pounds  (had actually lost 13 more than that but gained 8 back during the show)  He told me that I was part of the small percentage of his patients that are in good health going into this surgery, and that other than the weight are in good physical health.  that made me feel better about myself, and if he tells everyone that, then he is smart cuz it worked!!!!
I have to keep dieting and he would like me to lose 11 more before the surgery date.  He said the liquid diet a week before may help me get rid of those pounds.  I see it as 11 less pounds I have to lose, so I am determined to get it and more if possible off before surgery day!!
I am so excited, but yet those fears adn insecurities are starting to creep in now that the yay part is wearing off.I am doing just what he tells me and praying for a safe journey through this.  Any WLS post ops out there...I would apprecaite any tips on what to buy and have in preperation for next month!!!

This is a pic of me at my heaviest (15 pounds heavier than today)  Since I am starting my countdown today I wanted to start it off right!!!

Tomorrow....

Well, I made it til my rescheduled Dr appointment.  I am excited to see what he has in store for me tomorrow.  If my insurance says I have to do the 3 month diet deal, I will be disappointed  but I will do as Im told!!  Just to get the ball rolling is a good thing, I feel like i have been at a stand still!!
I have already had a small victory in this journey...I have all but given up coffee.  Just a recap, I drink anywhere from 8 to 10 cups of creamy coffee goodness a day.  Since seeing Dr. Chang, I have tried to cut my coffee habit now, instead of trying to make alternatives for it later.  I  now have 1 cup a day (some days none)!!  i only make a cups worth and unplug the coffee pot and walk away after I make that one cup.  Only fat-free creamer and sweetener.  I have really noticed a difference too!   I will only have more if I am traveling or shopping...got have the coffee while skimming the shelves in Barnes and Nobles.haha!  Well I will be back tomorrow with what is hopefully only good news!!  Later my weight loss buddies!!

Oh how I hate to wait!

Darnit, having to move my appointment is tormenting me...I do this silly countdown to things, and all but drive myself nuts!!!  Well, next Friday isnt THAT long I guess.  I sure hope he gives me a date..or at least a general estimate of when I can do this.  I am ready, I have tried to prepare myself both mentally and physically.  He said to start exercising..I have been using my stationary bike, and have been watching what I eat.  I have all but done away with coffee, only a few cups here and there(fat free creamer)..and I have gotten good at following with water. So hopefully I will be weened off coffee completely soon!
Though I haven't completely gotten rid of the colas, I have dropped it to one every other day or so...coffee is more my crutch that cola!

I have also been following the "101" plan he gave me.  i thought I would share it with you incase anyone would like to spruce  up their diet plans. Even if you are not doing the surgery, these are some good tips for weight loss  (I am summarizing this)
"Eating 101"
*eat three meals per day...never less
* dont SKIP meals
*no snacking in between meals~~this can be the number 1 reason people dont lose or regain
*eat more of your calories earlier in the day (bigger breakfast and smaller lunch)
*chew your food well
*each bite should be the size of a nickel
*keep meals about 20-30 minutes
(for those pre-surgery only)----eat fruit or veggies first

And something I learned about exercise that I didnt know...you do NOT burn calories until you have done at least 30 minutes of exercise!!!!

The first 20 minutes of exercise uses other energy sources, after the 20 minutes you will begin to burn the fat!!!

Hope you guys have a great day!!!
 

Stock that pantry...

A friend of mine posted this link on my facebook this morning, and it is perfect because I am already trying to prepare new ways to cook for both me and my family.  If you are just dieting, or preparing for WLS, or already out...there is a good list of healthy foods.  I figure if I empty out my pantry and fill it with these, I will only be helping myself to prepare now, and ween myself off of those bad foods that have gotten me to where I am today!!!
Thanks for the info Celia!!!!
http://www.bariatriceating.com/BEhealthnutrition/postoppantry.php

For every thing is a process......

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, 

but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”

~~Mary Angelou

non-scale goals!

Ok I know all those out there whoa re struggling with weight or have lost the weight...I know you will be able to relate to one or all of what I am going to list in a minute!
These are personal goals of mine, some funny (though honestly sad)  Be kind for they are real goals other than to see the numbers drop on the scale.
Ok I mentioned before I am now addicted to the WLS community and videos on you tube, and a day of surfing through vidoes, I found several people talking about their "non-scale" victories.  they were  things they never thought they would be able to enjoy.  I found myself relating to ALL  of them!!!  i decided to write down my own.  They were for my eyes only but I figured it would make it more real for me if I let my friends know about them too!
So here we go...keep all giggling to a minimum!! :)
**to be able to wear my high heels again.....i have heels I have never even worn because my knees hurt now to walk in them!
**to be able to wear calf high boots....you know to zip or buckle them all the way up ;)
**to sit in a restaurant booth comfortably....not feel like I am a sardine!!!!
**to ride though darn go cart cars thingies in the valley...I have missed out on that racetrack too many times haha
**to get up from a plastic lawn chair and not have it stuck to your but...stop laughing!!!
**to finally be rid of those itchy marks on your gut from pants that are too tight
**to dress my age and in the style I want..not just what is available in my size
**to chase my kids around without getting out of breath or tired after a few steps
**Have a photo session with my husband and not throw all the pictures out!!
**okay to shop in victoria secret...damn i want lacy panties too!!!!
**to be able to shop in the mall other than at lane byrant for once!
**oh crap...to get on a horse with out having to climb on the back of a truck first...mind you I wont get on  horse at all anymore at this weight
**to dance freely without worrying about whats jiggling..hahahahaha
**to be able to buy a piece of clothing out of the "womens" section
**to be able to crawl around on the floor with my kids without crying cu my knees hurt
**to hop up into a trailer or the back of a truck with ease
OK so these are just a few things, and I am sure many more will present themselves to me as this journey continues! And I know one of those related to you in one way or another!!!  i am being honest with myself because hiding behind myself just isnt working anymore!!!
love you guys and take care